.Hope.

its been an exhausting weekend.

mom and i headed to tri cities on friday to see the family and be there to support my grandma who was putting on an advent breakfast saturday morning at her church. i didn't know until we got there but she was one of the key speakers. she would be speakin on hope. some of you have met my family and the one thing i always hear is wow your family treats any and everyone like they are your own blood and have known me for years. its true. my grandparents have adopted many more granddaughters and sons than you can imagine. i guess the reason i'm adding this little back ground in my blog is to show where i get my strength from... the woman in my family are the heart and soul. each of them has taught me more and more throughout their experiences and stories. i won't go into their stories because just that their not mine to share. anyways so i've mentioned 2 years ago we lost Luke... to back up a little before that my grandparents after 48 years divorced. it was terrible. we were all so lost. they were apart for 2ish years than decided to remarry and i know its a little crazy but the wedding was amazing. every. single. person. was there. my grandparents have 7 kids. 28 grandkids. 16 great grandkids (this number ALWAYS growing!) so to gather everyone was truely wonderful. little did we know 2 weeks later we would loose Luke. To see my family come together in that time still brings me to my knees. we were there for each other. I believe God brought my grandparents back together to help us all get through.... well my grandma spoke of all this and more rough times my family has gone through and the hope we each carried with us. I found some things out friday night that unfortunatly still leaves me sick... it was one of those stories you didn't want to hear... one of those thoughts that no matter what you cannot get out of your head. but i guess i just need to hold my head and hold on to that hope a little more...

my heart is in.... MONTANA!

holy shit. i never thought we would get that phone call. i picked mike up from the airport and we hadn't even reached the free way when mtn states called and said he got the transfer to montana. i cried. like pulled over and cried. it was such a relief. no one can imagine how difficult it is to start a marriage 27 plus hours away. its just dumb. now we've cut the gap but 22 hours and mike is now working in fairfield. its about 40 minutes from great falls and 5 hours from home. thank you Lord! i knew sticking to our guns and waiting it out would be worth it instead of being rediculous and packing up our life here and following him. i didn't give my dreams and goals up so now we're sitting pretty. pretty damn freakin pretty! :) i'm half way done with my intern. ready to job hunt here soon. and with mike being closer that kinda ups our plans to a little sooner. once i get my job i'm going to be crackin down on the house hunt and we should be home owners this spring. and i won't be doing the house hunting alone. mike can come home every single stinkin weekend. i can actually start trying our some of these dinners i've been slaving over. ha... best early christmas present! :-)

this would be my life....

have you ever at any given moment of the day just took one second was said wow this is my life. how cool is this?! it happens to me all the time from various emotions.... my morning texts from mike at 3 in the morning saying to myself. wow my husband lives somewhere else? or a random text from a friend just saying thinkin of you today! anyways mine poped up today as i was busy sealing a crown in this womans mouth. it was such a challenge to keep her from chatting on about her heard of 26 alpacas! she inherited this pack from here ex father in law. very crazy story but in between telling her to hang on it hit me. this is my career! this is pretty much what i'm going to be doing every day. listening to people's stories while helping them out. i love it. its been such a joy working in this office too. they all say they want to keep me but i know they don't have the room so in about 5 weeks i will be on the search to find a dental asst. position elsewhere. its a bittersweet thought....

on the other hand. i have been keeping busy meeting up with all the rowdy buncha people i call my friends! Mike comes home on wednesday and i couldn't be more ready to see his handsome face! :-) we're going to ritzville for thanksgiving which i honeslty dont mind not being with my family during a holiday. Mikes family has always been great in opening their arms and making me feel right at home. all in all i am looking forward to some good quality time with everyone. i'm sure well make it to st maries to see mikes mom and grandpa. which is always just so easy! she adores michael (i know who doesn't!?) but its really sweet... plus she always wants to hear me ramble about my boring old life. she will probably ask us every hour when we plan on giving her some grandbabies! she's up there with the wanting to be a grandma BAD along side my ma! :) love it.

off to yoga! :)

who knew a normal job would be this exhausting?!

whew okay i'm a little behind on my update... first off my trip to denver was wonderful. we went did a few random things like accidently find buffalo bills grave site and spend an hour and a half looking through cheapo survinors trying to pick something out... we went to the coors factory too and took some very serious beer pictures. but of course none of us so its pointless trying to upload. ha we had a blast and i always love the time we spend together. when i first landed we were both so exhausted we went and grabbed food and headed to the hotel. we spend 6 solid hours just talking.... it was amazing... we talk every day yes but its hard to actually talk about the important details of things. so we officially have things set and will let you all know the details when they come up :-) lets just say i was very happy at the end.

now the part of my life that has taken over! my extern! holy cow i figured monday thru thursday 8 to 5 no big i will have so much time on my hands... eeerrr wrong. i'm plan exhausted at the end of the day! i haven't even seen my mom this whole week which never ever happens. i am very thankful i don't have to work while doing this because i would be a total wreck!!

i love the office though i could not have picked a better place... i went out to grab a beer and fried food with some of the girls last night. lets be honest they're my kind of people! i spend more time with these woman than anyone else and am so blessed to have formed such a solid bond with them. they told me they want to keep me! i don't know yet about any actually employment but i'm not ruleing it out. i've been able to assist in a few things nothing too extreme but i did get my first extraction which was awesome! anyways literally being a dental asst. right now is completly my life. its hard throughout the week but once the weekend hits i'm definanly able to cut loose and just relax (no homework!!) this weekend hopefully i will be able to jam on down to moscow with miss sam for some football! yay! only if i get my stupid car taken car of! needless to say i will not be sleeping in tomorrow! things need to be done early... welcome to adulthood. bleh! :)

countdowns make my life.

first count down: one hour and 15 minutes until my dear friends sam, ashley and of course jocey come watch gossip girl :-) decorated halloween cookies included hoorah.

second: 2 and a half days until i'm boarding a flight to denver to see that handsome lineman of mine. some things we have planned are "the scariest haunted house ever"(mike and jake did their research), coyote ugly (love being 21), bass pro shop (basically my favorite place), coors factory (nothing like warm, free beer!) possibly a halloween party with a good friend from t.f. (he goes to school in boulder now) and of course laying in bed with my sweet husband for the whole day of thursday. i can't wait...

third: exactly one week left of school! i did my first polishing today on a med student and rocked it! i love my future career.

fourth: goes along with end of school, i start my extern a week from tomorrow!! now this is a huge scary step that i cannot wait to take. this is what its all been leading up to. eeeekkkk. so nervous but i know my stuff so i should be alright ;)

fifth: less than one month until mike gets to come back into town for thanksgiving!! we just booked our ticket. i'm already starting to plan our annual (well its only the second year but still...) ornament party/ black friday/kick off christmas party! any ideas for a clever name???? :)

sixth: two months i will be hopefully done with all my hours, maybe not with all the holidays and time off the dentist takes. and of course christmas! woohoo! :) which of course mike comes home again for a good week and a half 2 weeks. best christmas present!

well lots of fun wonderful things happening and of course those are just the major things! i have a few trips planned to see jussy in the tri cities, see mason in lewiston, portland to see family, montana to see my favorite lineman boys, and of course all the great friends i have here in town! anyways will write again after my trip!! :-)

so long future!

i need to stop obsessing about our future. i'm driving mike and myself nuts. so... SO LONG FUTURE! good bye thoughts and dreams of our house- decorating and painting all the rooms. see ya later thoughts of babies. Lord knows i have too many of these. Yes these are things that we will pick up back in the Fall again but right now its not gonna happen. Buying our first house or getting pregnant will not make my husband come home any sooner. so for now i will not talk about it... or at least try my damnest!

i need to focus on the current things. like seeing mike in 9 days. our annual black friday/christmas kick off party. making our first christmas card together. new years. finishing school and my extern. starting my real job. bon fires. 4 wheeling trips. all these fun things are happening right now. not in a year not in 2 years. now. i can't keep wishing my years away or i will regret it. i start my extern in exactly 2 weeks. i feel like i'm going to throw up but its finally here. pretty soon i will just work monday thru thursday. i have no attachments. no adorable but needy babies. my husband is traveling to some pretty fun places that it would be hard to just randomly up and leave if we had kids. i'm refocusing things for now. don't think i wouldn't feel like the most blessed person on the earth if i was pregnant but for now i'm gonna be crazy carefree cayla again. for once in my life i have nothing to plan. no wedding. no school. nada.

its going to be rough for an over obsessive gal like me but it will be good for me. after all isn't all this what i used to plan and think about? i think so.

just crackin a smile.

okay not much for tryin to turn my wondering mind into a blog so this may be kinda spuratic but its alright....

i'm learing to cook/bake. i suck. i really do but want to be that mom who cooks every night for her charming husband and beautiful babies. i have 2 years to figure it out so in the mean time my wonderful mama has decided to help! one day a week i cook dinner. nothing fancy just a random dish i will be able to whip up in between running my kids to sports and classes, ya know the usual. than another the other day a week i bake something. i have dominated the banana cake recipe!! look what i'm bring to home room!! hah. i am starting to really like being in the kitchen attempting to do these dishes. besides i LOVE spending time with my mom. just blabbin on about life. its probably my favorite thing.

i'm also focusing back into yoga. i have always loved it but slacked majorly in keeping up. so fridays i'm taking a class again and after meeting up with my 2 wonderful friends robyn and brandy who are tackling this goal with me. these 2 girls always keep me level headed in my pathetic life and don't let me act like it for long. :)

i'm also in the hunt for a sewing machine. nothing fancy just simple. i want to learn to make simple things. my ultimate goal make a sweet quilt. mikes lineman quilt that i think i mentioned already

anyways thats my current brain. i'm off to bed. so excited to be crashing before 11!!! go me!!