Tuesday, May 31, 2011

good bye to my first place.

alright so i'm kinda a sentimental baby. we got everything out of the apartment yesterday. i decided to go back later that evening and clean it for the last time. i cried as i wandered around my 2 bedroom apartment that had been my home for the last year and a half. yes technically it was our apartment but lets face it was mine :) that apartment has housed SO many late nights of tears, laughs, and countless memories made. girls nights took on a whole new meaning when we all got together with mamosas in hand. my first parties, the college crazy get the cops called on you kind and "grown up" ornament/christmas parties. the spur of the moment coffee dates with mom. afternoons spent laying by the pool dreaming and dicussing wedding plans. mine and future friends. i'll miss it, i already do. ha lets be real moving back in with mom and dad with my husband and child (4 legged child) is kinda strange and kinda a zoo. its hilarious to watch the puppies run around. i'm very blessed that we even have this option otherwise we'd really be homeless but i'm READY TO GO! oh well we're keeping our heads up and trying to stay positive! with that i'll leave you with some pictures of my cute first home. enjoy! :)

oh and fyi trying to fit ALL those clothes (there was more in the hall closet and guest room) into a 28 ft trailer is a very, very difficulft challenge that i conquerd! :)

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

who needs chairs?

i am currently writing this sitting on the floor of the apartment while Remmi (yes I got a puppy) is running around chewing on my $75 Bombshell bra =( he's fun but really my bombshell!? we've currently moved everything out of the apartment except for the tv and a few dishes. its been a crazy few days trying to decide where everything goes; storage, trailer, or trash? i guess i should back up and talk about how we got here.

well i caved. after 2 years of being apart, 9 months of marriage and only a handful of visits, my school completed and career started, Mike moving-again our marriage was on the rocks. we've been trying so incredibly hard to build this life together while still going on in our own seperate lives that it was just putting the wedge deeper between us. so after finally getting fully comfortable and loving my job i put my 2 weeks in. it was hard, very hard. and of course as my luck has it a week after i put that in Mike got laid off, yay! great timing i'd say! but this is the linelife. they get laid off- alot. it sucks but the books are moving quickly and within the next 2 weeks we'll be back. scary part is now i have no idea where we'll be. when i first argeed to this i just had the thought of okay i'll be moving to Montana. Easy, piece o cake! its a 5 hours drive that i can make whenever i'm feeling too homesick. now theres a chance of being sent back to colorado again. i honestly wouldn't mind going anywhere but i just want to be close to home for summer. even throughout this whole moving process we'll slowly getting reconnected and i'm already happy with this decision even though my stress level is through the roof.

so now my days are busy sorting through stuff and making the camp trailer, our home instead of just Mikes. its a chore trying to fit all my clothes lemme tell ya! i don't regret not going right away. i needed to stay and make a future career for me too. although i won't be able to work while i'm whereever we are. Mike gets transfered at the drop of a hat i'll stay busy. (hopefully) i'll be making alot of phone calls back home, remmi and i will be going on lots of walks, i'll make it work. its taken alot outta me to suck it up and do this. i've pretty much had to eat my mini lectures i've had to give about why i don't just go with him. whelp here i am.

its really scary to not know where i'll be in 3 weeks, 6 months, a year. but i'll be with my husband. right where i need to be and finally honestly want to be.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

marriage is hard.

i don't really feel like spilling out the last few months with the details of my crazy crazy marriage. i will soon enough but right now i'm just posting these lyrics. they make us feel a little better :)

For the First Time: The Script.

She's all laid up in bed with a broken heart,
While I'm drinking jack all alone in my local bar,
And we don't know how,
How we got in to this mad situation,
Only doing things out frustration,
Trying to make it work but man these times are hard,

She needs me now but I can't seem to find a time,
I've got a new job now on the unemployment line,
And we don't know how,
How we got into this mess is it gods test,
Someone help us cause we're doing our best,
Trying to make it work but man these times are hard

But we're gonna start by
Drinking old cheap bottles of wine,
Sit talking up all night,
Saying things we haven't for a while
A while ya
We're smiling but we're close to tears,
Even after all these years,
We just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time


She's in line at the door
With her head held high (high)
While I just lost my job but
Didn't lose my pride

But we both know how,
How we're gonna make it work when it hurts,
When you pick yourself up,
You get kicked to the dirt,
Trying to make it work but,
Man these times are hard,

Oh these times are hard,
Yeah they're making us crazy
Don't give up on me baby....