Thursday, September 23, 2010

my heart is in colorado.

life sucks right now. i know i'm being a baby slash super dramatic and not like me but screw it. i'm feeling sorry for myself. if i had the option i would lay in bed and not get up but unfortuantly school and work won't let me. i'm just about over this long distance thing. what am i doing? why did the one person i want for the rest of my self have to be impossible. oh i know its all worth it in the end blah blah but really. i'm not happy with anything which is just pathetic because i do have a great life and am blessed so how do i get outta this funk? i'm so tired of pretending like life is okay i'm okay. i'm not. i'm hitting my breaking point earlier than i should be.

i went yesterday and got us pre approved for a house... with my mom. NOT who i'm suppose to be filling out paper work with. i'm so tired of people asking when i got married and than asking how it is. people it hasn't fucking changed. we had 2 weeks together and he went right on back to colorado. i've seen him 6 days since yeehaw. some lady told me i better learn to cook to keep him around. lady, he's not here so who cares if i even grocery shop?! i want mike home. for good. i want to go pick out our new house and than go shop for a puppy since the baby deal is not happening for little longer. besides can't get pregnant without him around! i just want to feel normal again. i make plans than bail cause i can't put on this act anymore. i'm done. i've hit the wall.

Monday, September 13, 2010

7 weeks is nothing.

the h2o concert was amazing!! so much fun. i couldn't have had better dates... those boys crack me up! but now its back to reality, again. i have 7 weeks before i fly to denver to see mike for the weekend. the longest we've gone is about 10 weeks so we can do this. plus its almost easier to do the distance thing with the same last names, i know its weird but it helps me out a little.

with the thought of trying to keep busy to make the weeks fly by i have to do what i always do, set some goals!
1. work work work. may as well right? in about 2 and a half month i will be on my intern site not making anything and not able to work... phewy so better work my booty off now!
2. school. main focus right there. along with my 7 weeks to see mike i also only have 7 weeks until my actual school is done! this is incredible time thought for me. i feel like i have been working towards this forever so its really exciting for me! keep up my great grades!
3. get back into running. i love running. i'm one of the few who actually need to run. i just slacked off after the wedding so back to it!
4. not keep myself holed up in my house like i know i will try to do. so if youre reading this and i make up a lame excuse please drag me out!

its hard. but we can do it.

Friday, September 10, 2010

i feel like a den mom!

so i'm a retard. i booked mikes ticket for this weekend about 3 weeks ago and i screwed up. i'm so used to flying i put my name instead of his... a few choice words later mike managed to get the ticket to his name. you're not suppose to trade flights i guess? oh well its all good now he's on his way home as we speak! :) yay!

i am kinda liking this whole barely work thing. today i was able to get caught up and ahead with school work, cleaned house, cleaned out the house... man i have a lot of random books!... i finally ordered our thank you cards, got all wedding pictures in frames and hung out, make cookies enough for this weekend and for him to take home to the boys, i made sandwiches for everyone tomorrow for the big concert day, got enough beer to get us all in a good mood :) and now i'm killing time before i pick my hubby up! this weekend is gonna fly by... we're leaving at 10 tomorrow and probably wont get back until way late and than we turn around and mike leaves at 1 on sunday. its a quick trip but i get a kiss :)

well until next friends!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

most productive day!

wow what a day! i finally got my name changed, officially not just facebook official :) it wasn't too bad just took all damn day to get my new license, social security, bank accounts all the mail in my name, blah, blah, blah! now i'm blogging a little while i'm baking cookies before a few friends come over for a movie night. one of the reasons i love fall so much, curling up with new and old movies and good friends.

my birthday was on sunday the big 21! yeeehaaaw! it certainly wasn't like the typical 21 run but thats okay because i'm so not the shot shot shot kinda girl. i was happy with my coors. mike wasn't planning on coming home but my mom said it was stupid for him not to. so he flew home and we were able to spend time together without dealing with wedding stuff. i love love love staying up all night just talking about our future. mike is ready for kids now. i am too i would love to have a baby now but i don't want to do it with him states away and never knowing when he can come home. we're thinking in about a year we'll start trying so by the time baby mcbride comes into the world he'll be home or at least close to being home. all in due time :) we just signed our lease again for 6 more months than its house shopping time! i love when our lives seem to fall into place. ha ha picture perfect mcbride household minus daddy for now!

i know probably no one has even noticed all the hurricane talk because it hasn't been bad and it is so far away but as a linewife i think its in my dna to watch the weather channel and hope it hits!! now i know this is terrible BUT this is what mike has been livin for... STORM TIME!! not only does it give him his crazy boy rush, and great experience but helloooo major paychecks. after talking to the older lineman storm checks are what pay for the toys and new cars all in cash. we just want to pay off my school loan and uhmmm a nice down payment for our house. its terrifying if i sit and think about the weeks i won't talk to mike wondering if he's okay or even alive. him up on that pole with the storm raging around. its scary but mike is smart i listen to him talk about his work and he knows his shit. besides i spent years watching my dad leave in the middle of the night to go on sniper hunts and call outs. that was all just prep for me to be a calm, patient line wife :) thanks dad!!