Friday, March 16, 2012

i've got the blues.

"i'm sorry i'm such a crazy cranky person lately..."
"hey don't worry i am here to be your yell and be mad at person. if you forgot i did half this..."

in turn that statement sent me into crying my eyes out. i guess i've been very lucky up until now. my pregnancy has been easy besides the sickness. i stayed active and ate all the right foods but i suppose no matter how hard you work to stay "normal" you're body tells you otherwise. from the begining i refused to be one of those woman who used their pregnancy as an excuse to "slack off" but now i have no choice. i officially cannot do half the things i need to do... walking has become pretty much non existant. after a walk last weekend with the puppies i started having this horrible pain in my lower stomache. i'm not too worried about it i did some searching and am pretty sure he's just getting head down and putting lots of pressure on me....

i have a little over 5 weeks left... but damn its going to be a long 5 weeks. i have a total of 4 shirts that i can fit in, 1 pair of jeans and of course sweat pants. not exactly a wardrobe to make you feel good! i get exhausted getting ready for the day so my hair is in a messy bun 95% of the time.

i was going over my calendar trying to fill the days up more but everything is done now. i had my two beauitful showers and got everything (plus more!) that we needed; i am now waiting to see my materinity pictures so i can at least get some in frames; all of wesson's clothes are washed and put away; our room is fully organized and clean; my birth plan is created and ready to go; the last thing i need to do is pack my hospital bag... which i can't do quite yet obviously. there's not much else i can do to stay busy.

the books are moving... mike was number 8 last week. he'll call this afternoon to see if they moved again. he was number 7 last year when we got called to wyoming... so literally any day he could be leaving me. which is so bittersweet. he needs to get back to work for obviously financial/insurance reasons and to finish up his hours so we can be done with this whole apprenticeship but how am i going to function without him?? i already feel like a teen mom living in my parents house relying on them for so much but at least i have mike here so we can push through together. i'm terrified of where they're going to place them. i know anywhere is a just a plane ticket away but really its so scary knowing my husband won't be there from the beginning...

i guess i just need to push through the horrible random crying sessions, the millions of pee breaks, the sleepless nights, not being able to just jump up off the couch, being constanstly hungry but feeling like throwing up after each bite, and of course the wonderful but horribly painful Wesson kicks. i love them but wow he can get up in some painful positions!

i just can't wait to hold him and see his sweet face... we can't wait to meet you sweet baby Wesson.

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