Monday, June 25, 2012

2nd chances.

i cannot believe tomorrow Wesson will be two months old... its scary, exciting, and so rewarding...

my son is a huge part of my life, obviously. i love every minute we spend together. our early morning smiles, morning baths (which i have to refill the water typically twice because i can't bear to break his smile and take him out yet...) our baby yoga in the afternoons, and one of my favorites saying our night time prayers. i'm very, very lucky i get to do this things. i have a husband who provides for us. its crazy to think i will never have to work if i don't want to. i get to watch my babies grow daily. trust me i do not take this for granted.

 i'm blessed, not just oh yah i'm having a good day blessed. i'm truely blessed with my life. i went through some horrible times with my husband. looking back now i'd like to smack my 21 year old retard self for almost loosing the man i get to share these memories with. we're typical parents now. our conversations revolve around Wes. this is exactly how i've pictured my life. well minus the trailer and colorado part. we are constantly planning our evenings and weekends for what we want to do and what time so we can beat the heat. i love our evenings now. after wesson goes down for the night he cracks a beer i grab my wine and we sit and play cards for hours and chat about days... i don't think i ever want cable again! okay thats a lie... we rent lots of movies too ha.

its hard getting married and having a baby before your friends.... but i chose this route i wanted this... it stings a little to know i really am loosing connections with my girlfriends. my life is one baby time, not happy hour. that's okay though. i'm excited for the day they call me up asking for advice on diapers or to call and share the exciting news of their baby laughing, or rolling over for the first time.... maybe than they'll understand why i was so excited to share my news and disappointed at their nonchallent reaction.

yes this is where i belong though.. getting up before everyone else to get my run in, my half hour spent running with Rem thanking God for giving me my second chance at this life. coming back to snuggle with my husband before either his alarm goes off or my handsome boy wakes up. one of my most treasured hours-- after mike gets off to work, rem and wes sleeping, coffee in hand enjoying a little quiet before taking on those sweet smiles. yes, happy and blessed... i'll take it.

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