who needs chairs?

i am currently writing this sitting on the floor of the apartment while Remmi (yes I got a puppy) is running around chewing on my $75 Bombshell bra =( he's fun but really my bombshell!? we've currently moved everything out of the apartment except for the tv and a few dishes. its been a crazy few days trying to decide where everything goes; storage, trailer, or trash? i guess i should back up and talk about how we got here.

well i caved. after 2 years of being apart, 9 months of marriage and only a handful of visits, my school completed and career started, Mike moving-again our marriage was on the rocks. we've been trying so incredibly hard to build this life together while still going on in our own seperate lives that it was just putting the wedge deeper between us. so after finally getting fully comfortable and loving my job i put my 2 weeks in. it was hard, very hard. and of course as my luck has it a week after i put that in Mike got laid off, yay! great timing i'd say! but this is the linelife. they get laid off- alot. it sucks but the books are moving quickly and within the next 2 weeks we'll be back. scary part is now i have no idea where we'll be. when i first argeed to this i just had the thought of okay i'll be moving to Montana. Easy, piece o cake! its a 5 hours drive that i can make whenever i'm feeling too homesick. now theres a chance of being sent back to colorado again. i honestly wouldn't mind going anywhere but i just want to be close to home for summer. even throughout this whole moving process we'll slowly getting reconnected and i'm already happy with this decision even though my stress level is through the roof.

so now my days are busy sorting through stuff and making the camp trailer, our home instead of just Mikes. its a chore trying to fit all my clothes lemme tell ya! i don't regret not going right away. i needed to stay and make a future career for me too. although i won't be able to work while i'm whereever we are. Mike gets transfered at the drop of a hat i'll stay busy. (hopefully) i'll be making alot of phone calls back home, remmi and i will be going on lots of walks, i'll make it work. its taken alot outta me to suck it up and do this. i've pretty much had to eat my mini lectures i've had to give about why i don't just go with him. whelp here i am.

its really scary to not know where i'll be in 3 weeks, 6 months, a year. but i'll be with my husband. right where i need to be and finally honestly want to be.

marriage is hard.

i don't really feel like spilling out the last few months with the details of my crazy crazy marriage. i will soon enough but right now i'm just posting these lyrics. they make us feel a little better :)

For the First Time: The Script.

She's all laid up in bed with a broken heart,
While I'm drinking jack all alone in my local bar,
And we don't know how,
How we got in to this mad situation,
Only doing things out frustration,
Trying to make it work but man these times are hard,

She needs me now but I can't seem to find a time,
I've got a new job now on the unemployment line,
And we don't know how,
How we got into this mess is it gods test,
Someone help us cause we're doing our best,
Trying to make it work but man these times are hard

But we're gonna start by
Drinking old cheap bottles of wine,
Sit talking up all night,
Saying things we haven't for a while
A while ya
We're smiling but we're close to tears,
Even after all these years,
We just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time

Oooooo

She's in line at the door
With her head held high (high)
While I just lost my job but
Didn't lose my pride

But we both know how,
How we're gonna make it work when it hurts,
When you pick yourself up,
You get kicked to the dirt,
Trying to make it work but,
Man these times are hard,

Oh these times are hard,
Yeah they're making us crazy
Don't give up on me baby....

here we go again!

i got a job! a real life grown up monday thru thrusday job! ive been proud of myself before but have never felt like this... i took a huge risk last year dropping all my nic classes, disappointing the parents with me not getting a real life college diploma, taking out a huge student loan and earning my dental assistant certificate. when i called mike after getting the call i cant even explain the excitment i heard in his voice. he was so proud of me. its a great feeling...

so now i'm a full time certified dental assistant married to a powerlineman working on his apprenticeship. we're both feeling very solid right now. we are in the slow process of finding our first home. we're thinking with the market the way it is and with as much as mike makes we may be able to afford our "family" house. one that we can raise our babies in and not move in 5 years.

its all falling into place... our life is slowly turning into the boring married life we've been dreaming of :)

heres to 2011!

wow its already a new year??? my break flew by! mike leaves to head back to montana tomorrow morning. we had a better second half of our break to say the least.... this marriage thing is a hard learning curve and when you're starting off with distance apart its just a natural craziness... but i love him and wouldn't change any decisions weve made. thank goodness we have that.

we spend new years the only we know how to: good friends and cold beer. it was a blast. one of my very best friends got engaged new years eve... i knew it was coming but she was in the dark about it the whole time. i'm so excited for them. they truely belong together. plus i'm excited not to be the only married one around, yes they love to tease me about being an old married hag. ha i love my friends. they will be getting married in september. brandy, rob and i are going to a bridal fair next weekend to check things out and get the planning along... its so weird to be a maid of honor and not planning it! i have to say i love it. this is the one thing i wish all my friends- to find someone to spend their life with!

i'm so excited for the new year though... its all pretty stress free from what we can see... no wedding, no school (i'm done wednesday! eeee!) mike will be staying in one spot (well pretty close) and thats that. well i suppose buying a house and hopefully starting our family this fall could be potentially stressful but i think we're both too excited for that to let the stress bog us down... i guess ask me again in 6 months ha.

i guess i'll end with my new years resolutions:
1. stop texting and driving
2. pay my loan off
3. be the best friend i can be. with that said--- i'm done wasting time on friends who don't try back.

p.s. only a year and half until mike is done with his apprenticeship... YEEEHAWWW! :)

christmas break thus far.

i figured i have a free moment that hasn't been over taken by people in and out of the house and the million things that have to get done while mike's home....

the break is has been great. christmas was wonderful we stayed at my parents and got treated like ten year olds :) the next day we were suppose to go to st maries to see mikes mom but the roads weren't gonna let us.... we got into our first accident. it was soooo scary! mike was driving super slow but it still slide us around and smack right into the cement rails. the damage for what happpened is amazing. just the front bumper in torn up but that we can live with. we were both VERY shaken up, unharmed except for my knee hitting the door. its just swollen and bruised but i'll take it.

so today is filled with insurance calls and estimates. yay. the one shitty thing about mike being home for longer than a weekend we actually start to feel like a real husband and wife so we decide to bring up issues like whats going to happen and of course it turns into a huge fight we i seriously want to smack him across the face and of course he thinks he's just going to storm out of here. we could fight on repeat i swear! i love him to death and wouldn't change anything but i think someone is using us for their amusement because we can't fix anything. lol its just dumb... than we try to talk it out sleep on it and everythings fine.... i'm not sure its the healthiest way but for now we both always say its not going to help anything to fight about the future.

sometimes i just really hate being a linewife and the damn unknown.

.Hope.

its been an exhausting weekend.

mom and i headed to tri cities on friday to see the family and be there to support my grandma who was putting on an advent breakfast saturday morning at her church. i didn't know until we got there but she was one of the key speakers. she would be speakin on hope. some of you have met my family and the one thing i always hear is wow your family treats any and everyone like they are your own blood and have known me for years. its true. my grandparents have adopted many more granddaughters and sons than you can imagine. i guess the reason i'm adding this little back ground in my blog is to show where i get my strength from... the woman in my family are the heart and soul. each of them has taught me more and more throughout their experiences and stories. i won't go into their stories because just that their not mine to share. anyways so i've mentioned 2 years ago we lost Luke... to back up a little before that my grandparents after 48 years divorced. it was terrible. we were all so lost. they were apart for 2ish years than decided to remarry and i know its a little crazy but the wedding was amazing. every. single. person. was there. my grandparents have 7 kids. 28 grandkids. 16 great grandkids (this number ALWAYS growing!) so to gather everyone was truely wonderful. little did we know 2 weeks later we would loose Luke. To see my family come together in that time still brings me to my knees. we were there for each other. I believe God brought my grandparents back together to help us all get through.... well my grandma spoke of all this and more rough times my family has gone through and the hope we each carried with us. I found some things out friday night that unfortunatly still leaves me sick... it was one of those stories you didn't want to hear... one of those thoughts that no matter what you cannot get out of your head. but i guess i just need to hold my head and hold on to that hope a little more...

my heart is in.... MONTANA!

holy shit. i never thought we would get that phone call. i picked mike up from the airport and we hadn't even reached the free way when mtn states called and said he got the transfer to montana. i cried. like pulled over and cried. it was such a relief. no one can imagine how difficult it is to start a marriage 27 plus hours away. its just dumb. now we've cut the gap but 22 hours and mike is now working in fairfield. its about 40 minutes from great falls and 5 hours from home. thank you Lord! i knew sticking to our guns and waiting it out would be worth it instead of being rediculous and packing up our life here and following him. i didn't give my dreams and goals up so now we're sitting pretty. pretty damn freakin pretty! :) i'm half way done with my intern. ready to job hunt here soon. and with mike being closer that kinda ups our plans to a little sooner. once i get my job i'm going to be crackin down on the house hunt and we should be home owners this spring. and i won't be doing the house hunting alone. mike can come home every single stinkin weekend. i can actually start trying our some of these dinners i've been slaving over. ha... best early christmas present! :-)